However the more I thought about it, the more I realized that at times, I (or we because I am sure that you have felt this way at one time) feel more like the other woman in my marriage. I have the certificate saying that we are, in fact, married, but during the height of the season, I sit, waiting for the other woman to call, needing him to come take care of her. Who hasn’t watched a movie from the perspective of “the other woman” and not thought….holy crap balls, this is me in relation to a golf course.
I am not saying this to make my husband sound like a monster, because he is NOT. It doesn’t change the fact that our men are, in some ways, married to the courses for which they work. This is a trait that is to be both admired and at times loathed. I am grateful that my MOT works so hard to provide for his family. I am over joyed that he loves what he does day in and day out. This doesn’t mean that I don’t at times hold resentment towards him and the “lifestyle” for the amount of time he spends at work/seminars/conferences/association meetings and outings leaving me at home to deal with the kids by myself. I would by lying if I said that I was happy in this lifestyle all of the time.
Our men understood all of this when they took their jobs. We too understood it, at least in part when we married them. It is the price we pay for the job they love. It is the price they pay for the job they love, and it becomes more than just a lifestyle over time, it becomes our life. Much as “the other woman” in the movie realizes that her man is never going to leave his wife to be with her and has to make the choice of leave him or stay and deal with the sacrifice because she can’t live without him even if she only has him for short periods of time. Ultimately, we do the same thing. We concede that his marriage to his course is more important, so we cherish our “stolen moments”, make the most of the time that we have together as a family. We embrace the lifestyle that we have married into and choose to make it our life, finding creative ways to work around missed family time by having lunch as a family in the maintenance building, or finding time for the kids to run through the sprinklers on the course while daddy drives and checks things. Life is what we make of it, not just what is handed to us, and so we as wives, embraces the path that we chose when we said “I do” and resigned ourselves to being “the other woman” in our marriages.
Our MOT do this for the love of the game, for the integrity of it. Every day, when they leave our beds and go to work and spend time with their “actual” wives they are showing their own level of integrity, pride and love of nature. They are filled with pride for what they do and what they represent. So, I will say again, this is NOT just a job, this is a lifestyle of the most difficult but rewarding kind.
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